If You Forget Me
by Briar Hecate
Summary: A drabble about Winry trying to move on... EdxWin


_A one-shot I came up with after reading some other fanfics about Ed and Winry. Please give me feedback! This fic is based on the poem _If You Forget Me _by Pablo Neruda._

_.........._

_I want you to know  
one thing._

You know how this is:  
if I look  
at the crystal moon, at the red branch  
of the slow autumn at my window,  
if I touch  
near the fire  
the impalpable ash  
or the wrinkled body of the log,  
everything carries me to you,  
as if everything that exists,  
aromas, light, metals,  
were little boats  
that sail  
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.  
..........

There are some thing you give up as you grow. For Winry, it was her favourite jumpsuit. It was an old one of Pinako's that she found in the attic when she was ten. Given the size, she was able to fit into it and she wore it for the first time zippered up all the way to her neck. As time went on and her confidence grew she began pulling it down so it reached her hips. It had many comforts to it; the old, scratchy material had seen many things in its lifetime. It felt to her as though she were wearing the memories of her grandmother. Like all of her mistakes, trails, and laughter had been secretly woven into the fabric to linger for eternity.

Then, one day the suit didn't fit her like it used to. Her hips now pertruded beneath the material and the zipper absolutly refused to zip over her budding chest. The next day she put it back up in the attic and inherited a new one. And that was that.

Automail, Winry had also learned, has to change. People grow and people change and so must the automail. She had lost count of the many times she had to replace them because 'it just doesn't fit right' or someone had 'outgrown it.' Not that she minded. Like anything, automail could be imporved and Winry's goal was to make every sinlge piece more perfect than the past models. It a challenge she accepted gladly.

..........

_Well, now,  
if little by little you stop loving me  
I shall stop loving you little by little._

If suddenly  
you forget me  
do not look for me,  
for I shall already have forgotten you.  
..........

"I wonder how Ed is," Winry mused one evening as her and Pinako cleaned the dishes.

"Oh, I'm sure he's getting into some kind of trouble," she replied, smiling with her pipe in her mouth.

"That's the problem," she said, wrinkiling her nose at the thought of making another set of automail for Ed.

Pinako blew a smoke ring towards the open window. The sun had already set and the country side was shadowed in the glowing light of the moon. "You left some of your designs on the workbench,"

Winry suddenly felt her heart skipped. "And?" she asked apprehensivly, scrubbing the dish in the sink with more force than what was needed.

"I'm impressed,"

"Really?!" Winry turned to look her grandmother in the eye. "You seriously think they'll work?"

"A little far fetched but I don't see why not,"

"Really! Because I was thinking of using some new alloys and combing iron with-"

"We'll talk about it in the morning, I'm going to turn in for the night," she said snuffing out the pipe.

"Okay," Winry said more soberly, a little crestfallen.

Pinako turned to leave and Winry stared pale moon. The cornfields had a ghostly halo over them and she suddenly had a flashback of her, Al and Ed sneaking out to play in the field at night. She sighed heavily. Missing Ed was hard. Hard, because most of the time she knew that he never thought of her or what she was up to, or what she was doing with life. She pictured him walking up the path to the house and smiled. He was a bit like a human boomerang; no matter how far he was thrown...she knew that he'd always return.

"Oh, and Winry.." began Pinako.

Winry leaned over to make eye contact with her grand mother who was ascending the railing.

"You'd better get to work on that automail design sooner than later... I know Ed'll need a new set the next time he shows up,"

..........

_If you think it long and mad,  
the wind of banners  
that passes through my life,  
and you decide  
to leave me at the shore  
of the heart where I have roots,  
remember  
that on that day,  
at that hour,  
I shall lift my arms  
and my roots will set off  
to seek another land. _  
..........

Years go by and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Oh, she had tried to. She had tried to stop the inexoerable march of time on so many occasions, it almost hurt to think about. There had been times where she had insisted on taking pictures. When she accompanied Ed to the annual Yule Ball the military held every year. She could flip through albums and see the druken faces, the blight blue silk of her dress, the stupid smile on her and Ed's face as they danced around, trying not to step on each other's feet. Pictures could stop time, but not always at the moments that mattered.

Then there were those moments. Moments, where there hadn't been time to grab a camera. Winry would look for a few seconds and then close her eyes as if she were snapping a photo in her head. She could see Ed's face clearly in her mind. His golden eyes filled with wisdom far beyond his years. Eyes that had seen too much already. Eyes that reminded her of his lost innocence. And his touch, the warm animalic warmth they felt when they brushed past eachother when she worked on his automail. Something as simple as his touch could set her teeth on edge.

Winry scratched her knee as she lay against a support beam. Sitting on the railing of the deck she faced the dirt road that had brought so many travellers. She felt a pang of lonliness. Pinako had dies a few years ago, leaving Winry alone and on her own. She had seriously considered selling the damn lot and moving in with Garfield until she could get back on her feet. It was like her favourite jumpsuit...except this time the house was far too big for only one person. There were too many rooms in the drafty house and there were times when she could hear her own voice echo throughout the walls.

But, for some reason she couldn't bring herself to do it. Like the suit, there had been too many memories here. She could almost hear the laughter of her and Al when they were children echoing along with the vicious arguments that took place between her and Ed.

Ed. She'd been thinking a lot about him lately. It was probably because she had been alone for so long. She longed to see him again, eventhough she knew that was next to impossible.

_'It's very improbible that he'll find a way through the gate again Ms. Rockbell' _the words Mustang had said to her, still haunted her thoughts.

She closed her eyes and saw his face as he looked at her and told her that. His face, void of any emotion. But she knew that he missed Edward as much as she did. She just _knew _it.

Taking a deep breath Winry closed her book and studied the sunset. Small moments of peace like these were hard to come by nowadays. The automail buisness had been booming after a short war that took place a few months ago. The sunset sprayed reds and yellows across the lawn, creeping up and kissing her face and her blonde locks. She had cut her hair a little shorter, letting it drape just past her shoulders and she had grown out her bangs, letting them fall past her chin. Winry found that ever since she turned twenty skirts seemed childish, so she took to wearing jeans. And because tube tops were inconvienient for working with automail, she wore various assortments of tank tops. This evening she wore a long, ill-fitting black tank top and a pair of paint splattered jeans.

She laughed at how much she had changed over the years. How when she looked at her self now and in photos from her past; her face looked the same, but her soul had grown...and she actually realized how grown-up she was. Long ago she had decided to give up looking for Edward. Eventually she stopped peering out her window at night and keeping half-hour long vigils in the morning, staring at the walk way, hoping to glimpse their figures once more.

It really was time for her to move on; maybe get married, have a few children, start running her own household. Sometimes she would stop and think about her future, how bleak it seemed. When Ed was around she had something to look forward to, something to hope for, to pray for. Now it was like she was just living a life filled with complacency. At least when she had Ed, she could travel and actually _do_ things. But now she was stuck in Risembool working from nine to five and going to bed alone every night.

She began to feel that familiar stabbing pain in her heart and as the sun sank farther behind the hills she turned to leave. Swallowing she turned back to face the evening sky once again...and she almost missed the two shadowy figures walking towards her house.

..........

_But  
if each day,  
each hour,  
you feel that you are destined for me  
with implacable sweetness,  
if each day a flower  
climbs up to your lips to seek me..._

..........

Commuting from Central to Risembool was annoying and just plain inconvienient. Winry and Ed consistently argued over who was going where and at which time. Ed lived in central, but liked to think of Risembool of his second home, and well, Winry just hated the people in Central. There wasn't enough space in the Central for her and too much space in Risembool for him. At least Alphonse stayed with her. After a few years Al had suddenly grown handome and smart and along with his good looks he began thirsting for a State Alchemist watch of his own. So, he thought, it was good to stay with Winry and study for exams.

Ed had grown much taller, now surpassing Winry by a whole head and a half. The two were able to get back into the swing of their relationship shortly after the brother found their way through the gate again. He had tried to explain to her how he managed to do it a few times, but she always failed to understand. Most of their conversations ended with bickering anyways. Ed had decided to take up teaching at the local university and did odd jobs for the military when they required it. During the summers and holidays he would go to Risembool and visit with Al, who had a new girlfriend every time he saw him. This whole arrangement worked out perfectly because it was an excuse to see Winry just to 'check up' and see how she was doing.

He had given up trying to persuade her to move to Central with him. She loved it too much in Risembool. She had went under a massive change, from what he remembered of her anyways. She had more of a mature strength to her than she did whne she was fifteen, as though she had survived a great deal and had managed to come out of it alive and with a womanly wisdom he couldn't comprehend. For some reason the word pretty couldn't descibe her anymore. Her beauty went beyond what he saw in normal girls and sometimes he had to catch himself staring into her big, sad blue eyes. There were some fleeting seconds when he pictured Winry and him raising a family, and having a perfect life. He couldn't picture himself with anyone else. But, whenever he got the courage to tell her how he felt she would throw in a quip about a how a cute boy from town asked her out on a date or how handsome some of the men in Risembool were getting.

He had even transmuted a ring for her and brought it with him every trip he made to Risembool, thinking _'This trip will be the one' _but he never got around to doing it. Whenever he tried to get her alone she was always busy working on automail, or helping Al with something. He hadn't given up yet though. And although the saphirre was gathering dust he promised himself that one day soon she would be wearing it.

Parking his car and walking up to the steps, he took a deep breath and pushed the screen door.

"Winry!" he called.

"Hey brother," said Al walking from the kitchen with an apple in his hand.

"Hey Al. Where's Winry?" asked Ed walking into the living room.

"She's working on something in the shed, do you want me to get her for you?"

"No, I'll just hang out," he said sitting on the sofa. He grabbed a book about Alchemy from the table. "How many hours are you putting in?" he inquired, flipping through the volume's yellowing pages.

"About ten hours a day of studying; fifteen when I feel good," repiled his brother, taking another loud bite from the fruit.

"That's good...they're making the exams harder to pass now so..." he trailed off.

"Winry doesn't have a boyfriend by the way," said Al suddenly.

Ed blushed, "Why would I care?"

Al smirked and raised his eyebrows, "Why wouldn't you? Please, your feelings haven't been a secret."

"Yeah, to everyone but her," he muttered, slamming the book shut.

Al shrugged, "Give it time brother...you did leave her-"

"I don't need to be reminded thanks," Ed said defensively, cutting Al off.

The back door closed and Winry walked into the living room. She wiped her brow and adjusted her tank top. Her hair was in two long pleats that fell down her back and her jeans had many rips in them. Not that Ed was complaining, he loved catching Winry with a layer of sweat on her skin and her low rise ripped jeans that hugged her figure so perfectly-

"Hey Ed," she said cheerfully, "what are you doing here?"

"Just came to see Al, and I needed a quiet place to mark some mid-term papers so..." he was glad that she interuppted him from his thoughts.

"That's fine, well, I guess I'm going to start making dinner, so you can obviously stay with Al and I-"

"Actually," interjected Al, "I have a hot date tonight so its just going to be you two."

"Another girl?" Winry and Ed said in unison.

"Is it possible for you to date someone for more than a few hours?" asked Ed playfully with his eyebrows raised.

"Nope. The ones that only last a few hours are the best anyways," he replied with a wink.

"Oh God, I can't know that," said Winry wrinkling her nose.

Al and Ed laughed. "Better not keep her waiting... use protection you two."

"AL!" yelled Winry and Ed again in unison.

The Alchemy text narrowly missed his head as he darted out the door. Ed made a mental note not to piss Winry off, unintentionally of course. One thing that hadn't changed was her aim.

"Since when did he become so rude?" asked Ed, following Winry into the kitchen.

"Since he discovered women," Winry said with a smile. "So how have you been?" she asked pulling out numerous pots and pans from the cupboards.

"Same old, teaching, research, you know stuff like that,"

She shook her head, "I never would have though that you of all people could teach..."

He shrugged his shoulders, "Pays the bills. The research is the fun part... let me help you with that," he said reaching for a pot that she couldn't get to.

"It's weird how tall you are,"

"Not to me," laughed Ed.

"God, twenty-five and look at how grown-up we are. You have a career, I have my automail...it's so...so surreal," she said gazing off into the distance.

Edward didn't know how to reply to that. It was true. They were already grown-up their lives passing by. Paying for their own food, their own electricity, not having to lean on anyone anymore. The rest of the dinner progressed well. they laughed about many things reminiscing about their childhoods, leaving out all of the sad parts. He couldn't help but feel a swell of pride at how independent and mature she had become. To him, that was the surreal part.

Winry sighed and looked over at Ed. Their plates were cleaned of the food that had been there not too long ago.

"What are you looking at?" he asked, feeling her azure eyes on him.

"Your arm. It's odd to me how its not automail..."

"It was hard to get used to at first, but there's no pain and the feeling is so unreal,"

She took his hand in hers and ran her fingers over it gently. It was as though she were trying to remember every nook, every contoure of the automail that had once occupied that space. Ed felt his heart flutter. He couldn't recall a time when he had been so in love with her. The intensity of her eyes, the determination he saw in her trembling lips. Lips, he had the sudden urge to kiss.

"Win..." he said quietly trying to find the right words.

"Yeah Ed?"

"Look, we've known eachother for a long time..and w-well, I uh-"

He was cut off by the blaring ring of the phone. His hand suddenly felt cold as she got up to answer it. After about ten minutes she hung up and turned to face him.

"What was that you were saying Ed?" she asked slightly tilting her head.

"Oh nothing. Who was it?" he asked with a little bit of bitterness in his voice.

"Johnny Callburn from down the road. You remember him don't you? We knew him when we were kids,"

"His name doesn't ring a bell," he answered. He remembered the little twirp. The kid had tried to kiss Winry once and had earned a severe beating because of it. Ed smiled at the memory.

"What?" asked Winry, reffering to Ed's smirk.

"Nothing," he told her. The engagement ring in his pocket suddenly felt like a hundred pounds.

_There's always next time_, he reminded himself.

..........

_ah my love, ah my own,  
in me all that fire is repeated,  
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, _  
..........

Edward Elric had absolutly no luck. He had finally gotten up the courage to ask Winry out and when the day comes, it starts _raining_. Even worse, his 'good' car broke down and they were forced to walk back to the Rockbell residence. Thankfully, the rain had become a light drizzle and there were patches of blue peeking out through the clouds.

Winry sighed, "You should've let me look at it..."

"No," he said shortly.

"I'm good with mechanics, you know I could have just taken a quick look-"

"Damnit Winry, I said no already!" he yelled, loosing his temper.

"Yeah, well maybe if your ego wasn't bigger than your brain, we wouldn't be in this situation!" she yelled right back.

"Oh yeah!"

"OH YEAH!" she yelled looking at him with a glare that could kill.

He laughed at her quietly, studying her face.

"What's so funny!?" she asked, still obviously angry with him.

"You,"

"You're the most arrogant, short-tempered, egotisical-"

He cut her off before she could continue by pressing his lips against hers. She seemed shocked at first, but then Edward felt her melt into the kiss. He lost count at how long they stayed like that for, but it was a while. When they pulled away they were both panting.

"-self centered asshole I've ever met," she finished closing her eyes and sighing.

"I'm sorry you had to wait so long," he said quietly. "I am all of those things...but I'm also head over heels, irrivocably in love with you."

Her azure eyes became very wide. She looked at the ground and then back at him.

"Now, you know, would be a good time to say something," he whispered.

"You certainly don't waste any time, eh Ed?" she said blushing a little.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm bearing my soul here Win. You could at least try to make it a little easier on me."

She leaned up on her tip toes and kissed him again. "I love you too Ed... I always have."

Ed deepened the kiss and pulled her closer to him. He looked up at the sky and saw that some of the clouds had cleared away. The light filtered through the cracks in the clouds lighting up the country side. He scarcely could remember a time when he had been so happy.

..........

_my love feeds on your love, beloved,  
and as long as you live it will be in your arms  
without leaving mine. _

_-Pablo Neruda  
_..........


End file.
